While in-person conversations and interactions allow individuals to determine tone, receive immediate replies, and recognize nonverbal communication, texting can sometimes create confusion and overthinking, especially when another person takes a longer time than one desires to reply.
Dallas resident Suzanne Woodling said she generally responds within a few minutes of receiving a text if she is available and/or it’s an easy response, though she doesn’t think doing so is necessarily a standard that should be expected in every instance.
“I think we all put undue emphasis on response time,” she said. “We typically want a response ASAP, but very seldom does a text message indicate the need for an immediate answer. If someone needs an answer immediately, I think they should indicate that in the text and follow up with a call.”
Dallas-area resident Ivan Alonzo said if he is in an active text exchange (e.g., a conversation), he can and will respond right away. Otherwise, he usually responds as quickly as time allows or the conversation necessitates, though he recently enabled his phone’s “Do Not Disturb” feature to mute incoming notifications during business hours.
“During the work week, I may go a few hours before I see a text message, which I think most people recognize and expect from others when they reach out midday,” he said. “In the evenings, I typically have my hands full with the littles or their extracurriculars, so my phone is not at the top of my focus.”
Dallas-area resident Alexis Derrow said her texting habits change throughout the day and depend on what she is doing at the time, but if she’s at work, she might not reply until the end of the day or a few days later—which helps allow her to be more understanding when she doesn’t see the typing bubble shortly after she sends a text.
“If it’s during the work day, there shouldn’t be an expectation for an immediate response,” she said. “People have their jobs. If they’re not at work, it’s extremely important for people who want to date me to reply quickly. For friends, I figure they’ll get to it when they get to it.”
Though texting is a common way for individuals to have both short and long exchanges, it certainly isn’t everyone’s preferred method of communication. Dallas resident Braden Keefer said he tends to be on the slower side to reply to texts if he is busy or preoccupied, unless he receives a message about something pressing or is already actively texting someone at the time.
“When the text requires a timely answer and isn’t leaving the other person hanging—like if you’re making plans with someone who needs confirmation or information about what you are doing—then you should respond promptly,” he said. “When it comes to dating, if you’re having a conversation, you shouldn’t leave them waiting for much longer than a few hours if you’re being intentional. I think friendships are different, especially if you’re already very close. There’s a certain point when texting becomes tiresome.”
Sometimes, time response, length of response, responding to all parts of a text, etc. can provide communication beyond the message itself to the recipients. Keefer said while this can be true, it depends on the context in which the text was sent.
“If what you’ve texted doesn’t warrant much of a reply, then I don’t think you should expect much of one,” he said. “I’m also strongly of the opinion that communication should not be texting-based. If you have something to say, want to see someone, etc., make plans to see them—texting only goes so far.”
In a similar sense that one might prefer in-person interactions to texting, leading to occasional misunderstandings if that individual is more standoffish when messaging, Woodling said there are a variety of factors that contribute to a way a person texts, whether generally or in different situations.
“I think in friendships and relationships, you tend to feel out each other’s cadence,” she said. “Some will expect quicker responses than others. Trust in relationships also plays a role in delivery and response expectations, and response times can vary as relationships shift. Personality types also can play into it. Some people have different senses of urgency.”
Alonzo said he thinks that it’s generally important to reply quickly, though there should be a mutual understanding that everyone is an adult with responsibilities and not on standby for text messages, whether those be with a friend or romantic partner. However, he said he believes that much can still be said for a person’s reply.
“A quick response tells me my message is a priority and worthy of a fast response,” he said. “The length can, at times, be telling of interest level or mood. I think the same can be said when all parts of the text are responded to, versus a short/dry response or ignoring parts of the message.”
And Alonzo knows that the replies he receives and time between messages are contingent upon the context of those exchanges.
“Sometimes a short ‘yes,’ ‘no,’ or emoji is more than sufficient,” he said. “If the topic is beyond casual conversion or more of a serious discussion, it’s more likely to require a lengthy message with some substance.”
Keefer said he typically doesn’t take a short response, lack of response, or delayed response personally, though it depends on if it’s important or regarding something important to him, which can result in frustration to such responses.
“Most of the time, when it’s just a surface-level conversation, I don’t think much of it, because everyone is mostly dealing with their own lives,” he said. “I would much rather make plans to see my friends, family, and romantic interests in person, as opposed to just texting them.”
For Derrow, how she feels when not receiving prompt replies or no response at all can often be a direct reflection of her mood at the time.
“I don’t take it personally—unless I’m in a downward spiral that day, and then I take it very personally,” she said.
And just as Derrow’s frame of mind can determine her interpretation of another’s prioritization of texting her back, Woodling said there can be several reasons as to why a person’s reply causes another to potentially spin around in a world of overanalysis or become offended, whether warranted or not.
“I think the short, delayed, or lack of response can be equally helpful or hurtful, but it depends on a number of variables,” she said. “Women are typically more chatty, so they might read more negativity into a short response—but sometimes it’s just a response.”
WEEKLY PHOTO OP
.jpg)
NatNews PR, a dear reader, and our sole investor recently enjoyed a lovely round of golf together